Vol. 1 • No. 1 Free (like a polka at a wedding) Forecast: 100% accordion

Polkamania

Everything you didn't know you needed to know about polka. And several things you didn't.

Breaking Polka
15 polka songs. 14 albums. 1 stubborn exception (Even Worse, 1988). Weird Al, we love you. Cleveland is the spiritual capital of polka. Yes, Cleveland. We're as surprised as you are. The accordion has 120 bass buttons. That's more options than your average streaming service. The polka was invented by a Bohemian peasant girl in 1834. Probably. Sources vary. So do we. Frankie Yankovic recorded over 200 albums. He did NOT take days off. "Polka" comes from the Czech word for "half." Half what? Nobody's saying. Suspicious. Weird Al's Grammy for Polka Face is now legally classified as an architectural landmark. You are statistically more likely to dance the polka at a wedding than win the lottery. Plan accordingly. 15 polka songs. 14 albums. 1 stubborn exception (Even Worse, 1988). Weird Al, we love you. Cleveland is the spiritual capital of polka. Yes, Cleveland. We're as surprised as you are. The accordion has 120 bass buttons. That's more options than your average streaming service. The polka was invented by a Bohemian peasant girl in 1834. Probably. Sources vary. So do we. Frankie Yankovic recorded over 200 albums. He did NOT take days off. "Polka" comes from the Czech word for "half." Half what? Nobody's saying. Suspicious.
A parody-style accordion virtuoso commanding a massive arena World Exclusive
Special Investigation

The Greatest Polka Hero of Our Generation Wears Hawaiian Shirts and Has No Notes

How one curly-haired man with an accordion convinced an entire generation of MTV kids that polka was, in fact, extremely cool — and accidentally won five Grammys doing it.

In 1984, on a low-budget UHF channel, "Weird Al" Yankovic recorded a polka medley of the year's biggest pop hits and unleashed it on a world that did not, strictly speaking, ask for one. The world thanked him by buying it. Forty years and seventeen studio albums later, he has not yet stopped.

Almost every studio album since 1984 has a polka medley — thirteen of them — with one stubborn exception (1988's Even Worse, an absence so notable that fans have been writing apologetic letters about it for forty years). Add in the three standalone singles — Polkamon, The Hamilton Polka, and 2024's Polkamania! — and the canon stands at fifteen polka songs and counting. That is dedication. That is a man with a plan, and the plan is "more accordion."

Read the full file on Al →
A glorious collage of pop culture icons polkified The Medleys

Every Weird Al Polka Medley, Ranked With Excessive Confidence

Polkarama. Polka Power. Hot Rocks Polka. Polka Face. Polka Your Eyes Out. We listened to all of them. Again. On purpose.

Marble statues of polka legends The Pantheon

The 12 Polka Kings You Should Probably Pretend You Knew About All Along

Frankie Yankovic. Jimmy Sturr. Walter Ostanek. Eddie Blazonczyk. Brave Combo. Their crowns are imaginary. Their reigns were real.

A 19th-century Bohemian ballroom mid-dance Origin Story

From a Czech Village to a Cleveland Wedding: A 190-Year Roadtrip

How a perky two-step skipped through Prague, conquered Paris, boarded a ship to America, and ended up at every wedding reception you've ever attended.

Hands clasped across a polka dance floor Join the Cult

So You've Decided to Become a Polka Person — Now What?

A complete starter kit, including how to find your local polka scene, where to buy your first accordion, and what to say so people stop asking questions.

An Open Letter to Weird Al Yankovic, Whom We Love

In the cathedral of polka, the choir wears Hawaiian shirts and the pipe organ is, in fact, an accordion. This is his pew. We just dust it.

"Weird Al" Yankovic at GalaxyCon Richmond, 2025

The Curly-Haired Statistician Who Made Polka Cool by Accident

Alfred Matthew Yankovic, born 1959 in Downey, California, took a single accordion lesson from a door-to-door salesman in 1965 and parlayed it into a five-decade career that is still going while you read this sentence. He did not invent the polka medley of pop hits, but he is the only person who turned it into a Grammy-winning career-long bit. Twice. Five times. He has five Grammys. Why are we still talking? Go listen to "Polka Face."

What makes Al's polkas the Rosetta Stone of polka? They smuggled the genre into MTV. They taught kids who had never heard an oompah note that polka was the original mashup — thirty seconds of a hit, key change, accordion riff, twenty seconds of another hit, key change, repeat until the listener is grinning like a fool. Al didn't change polka. He just translated it for the kids who liked Nirvana.

5Grammys
14Studio albums
15Polka songs
0Days he has stopped
1965The first lesson
Hawaiian shirts
The complete dossier →

A Field Guide to Al's Polka Medleys

Each one a Trojan accordion smuggling thirty pop hits into your skull at 180 BPM. Yes, you should listen to all of them. No, your roommate cannot stop you.

1984

Polkas on 45

"The one that started it all"

The first official polka medley. Mashed together Devo, Eagles, Hendrix, and the Doors. Possibly invented an entire subgenre. Definitely caused at least one wedding DJ to retire.

1985

Hooked on Polkas

"From Dare to Be Stupid"

Madonna, Tina Turner, Twisted Sister, Cyndi Lauper get the accordion treatment. Somewhere, a sociologist is still writing their dissertation about it.

1986

Polka Party!

"From Polka Party!"

Robert Palmer, Madonna, Dead or Alive, Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins. The medley dares to ask: what if "Addicted to Love" was actually a wedding reception? The answer is yes.

1989

Hot Rocks Polka

"All Stones, all the time"

The brave decision to polka-medley the entire Rolling Stones discography. Mick Jagger is reportedly fine with it. Possibly delighted. We hope delighted.

1992

Polka Your Eyes Out

"Don't actually do this"

The deeper into the catalog you go, the more committed the bit becomes. This one features L.L. Cool J. We are not making that up.

1993

Bohemian Polka

"From Alapalooza"

Not a "medley" — a full polka cover of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. Brian May personally endorsed it. The opera section is the funniest 30 seconds in recorded music history. We will defend that statement.

1996

The Alternative Polka

"Polka comes for grunge"

Nirvana. Soundgarden. Smashing Pumpkins. The most '90s thing ever made, played on an instrument that peaked in 1908. Genius.

1999

Polka Power!

"From Running with Scissors"

Will Smith. Spice Girls. Hanson. Backstreet Boys. Aqua's "Barbie Girl." The late-90s pop machine, run through an accordion with such force you can almost hear TRL screaming in the background.

1999

Polkamon

"Gotta polka 'em all"

A non-album single for Pokémon: The Movie 2000. The entire song is a polka medley of Pokémon names. A generation of children learned the polka without realizing they had been tricked.

2003

Angry White Boy Polka

"Title is the joke"

Limp Bizkit, Eminem, Korn. Yes, accordion. Yes, this is a thing that exists. Yes, it absolutely slaps. We don't make the rules.

2006

Polkarama!

"From Straight Outta Lynwood"

Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy." Pussycat Dolls. Kanye. Green Day. Franz Ferdinand. The 2006 mainstream radio dial in concentrated form.

2011

Polka Face

"Lady Gaga, but oompah"

The polka medley that beat T.I. and Black Eyed Peas to a Grammy. Lady Gaga publicly endorsed it. The accordion finally got the trophy it deserved.

2014

Now That's What I Call Polka!

"The compilation joke"

Wrecking Ball. Gangnam Style. Call Me Maybe. He polkified the entire 2010s. The 2010s thanked him in the only language they understood: a viral hit.

2018

The Hamilton Polka

"Lin-Manuel commissioned it"

Fifteen songs from Hamilton in four minutes flat. Released as a Hamildrops single. Hits every emotional beat in the show. Lin-Manuel called it "perfect." We have nothing to add.

2024

Polkamania!

"Cosmic coincidence"

Olivia Rodrigo, Lizzo, Lil Nas X, Doja Cat, Harry Styles, Dua Lipa, Glass Animals. A whole decade of post-Mandatory Fun hits, oompahed in real time. (Note: this domain was registered in 2020. The song arrived in 2024. The universe arranged it. We didn't plan this. The polka has its own plans.)

See the complete medley canon, with track lists →

Long Live the Other Polka Kings

Before Weird Al ever picked up an accordion, these monarchs were keeping the polka flame burning in dance halls, on local TV, and at your grandparents' anniversary party.

Frankie Yankovic, 1958 publicity photo

Frankie Yankovic

1915–1998 • Cleveland

The actual literal undisputed America's Polka King. Recorded "Just Because" in 1947 and never looked back. Yes — same last name, no relation, both are right.

Jimmy Sturr in 2009

Jimmy Sturr

1942– • New York

Eighteen Grammys. Eighteen. More than Beyoncé's 2010 count and you've never heard his name. We're fixing that today.

Walter Ostanek performing in 2011

Walter Ostanek

1935– • Ontario

Canada's Polka King. Three Grammys. Toured with Frankie. Proof that polka does not respect international borders, only beats per minute.

Brave Combo performing at the Ballard Seafoodfest

Brave Combo

1979– • Denton, TX

"Nuclear polka." Two Grammys. Performed on The Simpsons. The band that proved polka could be punk if you held it the right way.

Meet all 12 kings (and their deeply specific subgenres) →

Listen While You Read

Set the mood. The accordion does its best work in the background of literally anything you're doing.

Polka by the Numbers

1834year polka was invented
120buttons on a standard accordion
200+Frankie Yankovic albums
5Weird Al Grammys
18Jimmy Sturr Grammys
180average BPM of a polka
$2,500a decent first accordion
0credible reasons not to polka

A Brief History of Polka (For People Who Already Have Wedding Plans)

A folk dance, a continental conquest, a ship to America, and a curly-haired Californian. The whole arc in eight stops.

1834

A teenage girl in Bohemia makes a thing

Anna Slezakova, allegedly, dances a half-step to a folk song. A schoolteacher named Josef Neruda writes it down. The word "púlka" (Czech for "half-step") sticks. Anna is not credited. We are correcting that here, retroactively, with no legal authority whatsoever.

1840

Paris loses its entire mind

Polka arrives in Paris and immediately becomes such a craze that dance instructors raise rates, songwriters retool their entire catalogs, and at least one duel is reportedly fought over the proper hand position. Polka-mania, as it were.

1844

Polka conquers London, New York, Vienna, more or less simultaneously

The world's first viral dance. No internet. Just sheet music, traveling dance masters, and a public ready to spin.

1870s

The accordion meets the polka and they get married

Improvements in accordion manufacturing make it portable, loud, and capable of bass + chord + melody all at once. It is, frankly, a more efficient polka delivery system than a six-piece orchestra.

1880s–1920s

Immigration ships

Czech, Polish, German, and Slovenian immigrants bring polka to America. It splits into regional styles — Cleveland-style, Chicago-style, Texas Czech, polka norteña — all of which are correct.

1948

Frankie Yankovic crowns himself

Wins the "America's Polka King" contest at the Milwaukee Auditorium. Sells a million copies of "Just Because." Spends the rest of his life ensuring no one forgets it.

1984

The Hawaiian shirt arrives

"Weird Al" Yankovic records "Polkas on 45." Kids who own Twisted Sister cassettes accidentally learn what an accordion is. The polka enters the postmodern era wearing sunglasses.

Now

You

You're reading this. Polka has been quietly preparing for you for 190 years. We are very glad you're here. Please take a leaflet.

The full unabridged polka chronicles →

It's a Polka Party

No cover charge. No dress code. No reason. The dance floor opens when you do.

Get on the Dance Floor
A cozy library of polka books and records Resources

Where to Find Every Polka Album, Song Book, Festival, and Dance Hall We Could Locate

A working bibliography of the polka universe, ranging from "definitely real and excellent" to "we cannot 100% confirm this is still operational but the website is from 1998 and we love it."

An anthropomorphic accordion in a bowler hat Polka Humor

The Complete Catalog of Polka Jokes, Pranks, and Songs With "Beer" in the Title

"Who Stole the Kishka?" "In Heaven There Is No Beer." Songs that are jokes. Jokes that are songs. The line, frankly, is blurry.

Polka fashion editorial Polka Couture

What to Wear to a Polka: A Style Guide for the Brave and the Curious

Lederhosen are optional. Sequins are encouraged. Sneakers are forgiven. A Hawaiian shirt is, frankly, the safest bet.

A whimsical map of polka hotspots Geography

A Wholly Unscientific Map of Where Polka Lives in the World

Cleveland. Chicago. Milwaukee. South Texas. Mexico City. Berlin. Prague. Warsaw. And, oddly, a town in Slovenia that hosts an accordion festival every August.

Questions People Almost Definitely Have

Is polka actually cool, or are you guys doing a bit?

Yes. Both. That is the entire premise of polka. Welcome.

Are Weird Al Yankovic and Frankie Yankovic related?

No, despite us all desperately wishing it were so. Same Slovenian-derived surname. Different families. Different states. Same noble cause. Same correct answer to the question "should I play more polka?"

Is it “polka” or “The Polka”?

It depends on whether you're naming the dance, the genre, or the specific event your aunt is currently dragging you to. Yes to all three. Pronouns optional.

Why is an accordion the official instrument? Why not a tuba? Or a kazoo?

The tuba shows up. The kazoo, frankly, would be welcomed. But the accordion does the work of three instruments while wearing a tiny shoulder strap, and for that reason it gets the cover photo.

Is the accordion making a comeback?

The accordion does not consider itself to have left.

Will I look ridiculous doing the polka?

Yes. So will everyone else. That is, in fact, the point. The polka is a participatory democracy of looking ridiculous together, set to 180 BPM. It is more or less the most wholesome thing humans have ever invented.

Polka Songs That Demand You at Least Acknowledge Them

In Heaven There Is No Beer Who Stole the Kishka? The Pennsylvania Polka She Likes Kielbasa Just Because Roll Out the Barrel Too Fat Polka Hoop-Dee-Doo Hop-A-Long Polka She's a Square in the Round House The Tic-Tock Polka Beer Barrel Polka My Melody of Love Pivo, Pivo, Pivo

"In Heaven There Is No Beer" — written in 1956 by Ralph Maria Siegel, popularized in English by Frankie Yankovic, and singlehandedly responsible for an estimated 12% of all wedding-reception choruses sung above 95 decibels. The full lyrics include the logical conclusion: "That's why we drink it here."